Saturday, January 30, 2010

Girls at IIT's- part:2 (The adventures of misfortune!)

Hence starts the session at the IIT’s. About 5000 people enter the IIT’s of which about 500 are girls. Now,if you are a girl at IIT, you need not worry about anything. You will be like a princess, you will have loads and loads of admirers, your assignments will be taken care of, everything will be acording to your likes and dislikes and much more.. BUT, if you are a guy, you have got a lot of things to think about. Now, when a guy starts his engineering life, he sees girls for the first time because he has been a geek (by normal standards) for the past 12 years (the contradictions are not absent but very rare). So, now you get to see the college life- the world around us, the sights of nature, outside life, movies every week, malls, and the most influential things- GIRLS.

Now, the realization comes that beauty lies not only in the mathematical equations of calculus but somewhere else too! Something that attracts you blindly without any introduction. Now, comes the understanding of words like “infatuation”, “crush” , ”love”, etc. Everyone gets a copy of "Five point someone" and starts dreaming about a "neha" that they are about to find in the campus. They don't know that all such hopes and dreams of theirs are about to be crushed in near future. (For your information, never dare to even talk about a faculty's daughter. Your grades might just get halved. I know of only one person till date who had an affair with the Dean's daughter and actually got married to her.)

As we already know, the sex ratio at IIT’s is not a thing to be talked about. So, in order to lead a happy life at IIT you must have two things to keep you occupied – studies or relationship. The study ones are called the geeks, whereas the latter ones are called lucky. The (rare) ones having both are called “studs” and the ones having none, living solely on friendship and therefore doing all the useless things in the world, are called the “self-proclaimed studs” (Yours truly also belongs there. This article is a live example my uselessness). Now, in case you are a self-proclaimed stud, you must have worshiped god real hard and true to make you “lucky”. Then, God puts you in departments like Biotechnology and architecture where the females can even outnumber the males, which, is heaven in IIT by any standards! BUT, if you have been unkind to mankind, God may put you in departments like Mechanical engineering where you will feel for even the sight of females. And, if you have been brutal all your life, then beware! God will put you in departments like “mining” and “metallurgy” where the entry of girls is not even permitted!

On the registration day everyone sees all the faces around them. There, you get to see all kind of humans you can think about – grumpy, geek, idiot, stupid, smart, ugly, shy, horrible, Greek-gods, skinny and ,last but not the least, BEAUTIFUL ONES. And, without any mutual understanding, 90% of them keep their eyes engraved on a single person- the girl who is the best among the ones present. Let’s call her Miss Fortune. Now, from a guy’s perspective there are lots of hurdles between him and finding a Miss Fortune for himself.

1)She must have cracked J.E.E and not be someone’s relative who has come to see off someone (this hurts real bad!).
2) She must have chosen your IIT at the time of counseling. (By law of averages, it narrows the number to 60).
3)She must be in your department. (This further narrows the number down to a “maximum” of 10 - biotechnology & architecture are exceptions).
4)She must be your group. (Further narrowing to a maximum of 5.)

Now, in case you do find a Miss fortune satisfying all the above conditions, there are few more important conditions that are to be considered-
5)You get to talk to her. (Now, don’t ask me numbers on that one.)
6)She must give you some “bhaav”. (Don’t be daydreaming about that! She can always have any number of idiots like you at her command.)
7)There should not be anyone ahead of you in the race for the same Miss Fortune.
8)She should not be already committed to someone else (MOST IMPORTANT).

About 10-20% of the girls getting admission in IIT's go on to become someone's Miss fortune. But, everyone participates in the real race for grabbing Miss Fortune. They easily become the center of attention. As soon as guys get to know their names, the nerds flock towards the social networking sites viz orkut, facebook, hi5 and start searching her there. In case they do find her, they add her without a thought. Then, like a child stares at the animals in the zoo, they start checking out her profile and pictures (if she has put any) and hence, try to gather as much info about her as they can. Some go even further by gathering information from their sleuths in other colleges. As soon as she comes on-line,she would see a page showing 30-odd friend requests and a greater number sending her “Hi” as soon as she has logged in. Her scraps would rise exponentially along with beautifully decorated and colourful picture messages and e-cards and there will be a flood of sweet, cute testimonials on her profile. She is followed everywhere, except the loo, with dedication that can put even FBI spies to shame. Now, obviously if you get that much attention, even Gandhiji will get a high air about himself.

So, as mere mortals, the females too get a high air and the males do equally good to promote it. Suddenly, a fashion wave sweeps the academic premises. The makeup shops nearby make a merry and even run out of stock. The makeovers are the in-thing and the studious geeks transform into beautiful models, thereby producing more OOH's and AAH's. In case, you follow your Miss Fortune closely, you can very well see the different skin-shades above and below the neck courtesy their hostel-made beauty-parlours. Every new day presents them as if they are walking the red carpet at the Oscars. And, the dress repetitions, That cant happen! But, on some unlucky days, you can actually tell if your babe took a bath or not by simply seeing her in her true avatar in her "Just-out-of-bed" look. A lot more happening things keep you interested till atleast a month. But,one thing that this race obviously gives, is a very good demonstration of Crab theory- every crab is more interested in other's failure than his own success.

With all these facts in mind, you can very well find the probability of you actually managing to hook up with your Miss Fortune. The probability would come as low as the probability of flying pigs. Just in case she ain't committed, she would most probably fall for the someone of her choice within the first semester. She chooses the one who suits her best, but umpteen hearts break in the background during in the process. Hence, by the time the first semester ends, 20% of the Miss Fortune are already taken. By that time, most of the hopefuls have given up saying ”she was not my type” or “i never tried” (typical loser statement of the diplomats), but still some do keep trying away for the remaining ones and give rise to the part that goes on to dominate the next 4 years of their life. There is also a small portion which stays hopeful and waiting for a chance so as to become the second partner of the first lot of Miss Fortunes. But, they never succeed. ( Losers!! Get a life for yourself first!) So, if the girls are interested in finding some true friends, they do it after the first semester.

Now, howsoever are the girls entering IIT, 20% are already committed or get committed to someone outside ,thus breaking more number of hearts. Now, 40% of girls are out of reach of the aam-junta. But, the rest 60% are yet remaining which can give a great expertized knowledge and demonstration about approaches. Also an equal percentage of guys in IIT are also committed, but the percentage of those who always see their sweetheart in class is limited to single digits only.
{more later}

P.S: IN case you have managed to read through all the crap written above,there is a clarification. Any similarity with reality is unintentional and may vary with the reader's life and opinions.For any objections on the post, please bother to contact or mail me first.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Hmmm... i know what must be going through your mind as soon as you read the title of this post- that its an article once again descripting the (rarely existent) beauty of the girls who manage to beat their fortune and get into the IIT's. Well..the answer is yes. But its got more to that. This age-old cliche has a lot of factors to it. Here i tried to dwell on the factors and the harmful consequences of it on the character of the (so called innocent) male students.

So,it all starts with J.E.E- The most difficult exam in the world at 18 years of age. The ever-clever God up there gets really busy with managing the 6 billion people of this planet and decides to save some time. The easiest way is to save some time on gals. So he gets them into studies. so He makes them the type where one tends to forget everything around oneself and tries to study 24 hours a day. but since GOD has to got the majority of the world to care about , he decides to limit it to a very few girls. And,he takes apecial care to keep the most beautiful females to keep out of this coup.

BUT,this plan on a small population does saves a lot of senseless time. Wondering how..?? Now let me tell you that if a gal gets into 24 hrs study,she wont ever give you tension. TRUST ME:"NO GIRL EVER SPENDS LESS THAT 10 MINUTES PERFECTING HER MAKE UP ONLY!!" Leave all the time that they spend on other things like choosing the dress, getting ready, staying tensed about their diets, their hair ,the cute guys that they fantasize about and F-A-T. The most (tension-full) fatal question that a girl can ever ask is,"Am i looking fat?" No matter how brilliant you are,you cant ever give a satisfying answer to that one. (There is lots of personal experience in these facts.) You cant imagine how much time they spend in all these things. In case you dont believe me, Just check any survey about the "time spent by girls on various activities". Therefore,with all these time-gobbling activities, i hope you can very well understand that it becomes carefree if the girl ends up only studying all day long.

Now,comes the exam. Obviously,if you have studied a lot,you do end up clearing J.E.E. Its true that hard-work never goes waste. So,they get the "A.I.R's". And hence the non-makeup girls enter into the academic premises of the most premier engineering college of the nation as students and make up maximum 10% of the student population. But,in this group(i cant call it a crowd,obviously)of the bespectacled studious girls who have given their "TANN, MANN & DHAN" to physics,chemistry and maths respectively,there are also some who are makeup deserving beauties but are unfortunate enough to have been fooled by God's cunningness to coax them into studies. So,now they realize the ground reality and decide to compensate for all that they missed out on in the past. No wonder,they come out as the shining faces in the tribe.

And hence starts the real story of misfortune that people undergo and end up doin lots of things that even THEY never thought about!! The journey thats full of adventures where anything related to girl is like the holy grail and people undergo various kinds of inexplicable emotions and actions for the most coveted one. The story where hearts of innumerable youngsters are broken everyday and just a handful get to something ( just one!) substantial in the time they spent in the campus. Hence starts the making of the most intelligent bastards of the world!
(more in next part)

Disclaimer:the above article is meant just for fun without any intention of hurting anyone's emotions. Any resemblance with reality is purely real and intentional.