Wednesday, October 20, 2010

GIRL FACTS

WARNING: NOT SAFE TO READ!!
The article you are looking at may not be safe to read!
...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful!
If a friend or your girlfriend sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the advertising guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your curiosities and fantasies are satisfied.


First of all i’d like to clarify that i’m not a stud/love-guru/girl-expert, nor am i trying to act like one by writing this article. It's just that a friend of mine really inspired me to write about all this stuff. So, miss HEGHSAINN (her name's anagram), This one is dedicated to you..!

So, we all see girls everywhere...i mean,they ARE everywhere indeed. Now,when most of the guys see a hot,lovely,charming,sexy human being that's genetically female, more than half of them lose their senses and get lost somewhere thinking about a date with her. As soon as they come back to reality i.e when the other guy slaps you at the back of your head, they realize that the date they fantasized about has long gone. Obviously, the slap on the head silently breaks their heart and they try to mend it by again waiting for the sight of a similar creature and this cycle continues.

Well...having one's heart broken so many times is definitely not good for even the biggest of jerks. Obviously, It hurts! So,I (alongwith some others who were as nonsense as me) thought of some ways to divert our minds from this heart-breaking ogling at girls. Moreover,as we discovered later, not every girl's beauty is worth the attention that guys tend to give her. Many of them make brilliant use of makeup and other tricks to deceive us. (Girls love to get our attention,don't they!) Sans the makeup,they morph into a less like-able creature. But eventually,we found out some ways to detect the fake. (After all,my IIT degree implies that i am intelligent with respect to the normal world.) So,here i present to you some basic facts that may help you ogle only at really beautiful girls and thus conserve your attention. Here we go...

  • MAKEUP: The most basic tool that girls in every nook and corner of the world have used in every age. Now how to spot makeup? Well...there are different extents to which girls apply makeup. Some apply just to give finishing touches which looks really nice while some apply an inch-thick layer to hide away their pimples, dark skin,spots,etc (C'mon, be natural!) So, first of all, to notice the makeup,look if the face of the girl is shining or not. For the fact, a natural face never shines. It glows. Only the makeup can make the face shine because it reflects the light falling on the face. (science is everywhere,you see.) A natural face,on the other hand, looks so soft (and a bit rough) that it automatically grabs your attention. Try observing this next time and you will see the difference. Now, the detection of the extent of makeup is an easier task. To observe this,simply focus at the region where the neck meets the clavicle or where the chin meets the neck. Even if a girl has applied tons of makeup, she always tends to ignore these regions thinking that "Face is the index of the mind". So, if you will observe closely, you will automatically see different shades of skin tone while comparing it with the shade of the face. In fact, you might be able to see a boundary at the neck separating the two shades clearly. And, IT-IS-CLEARLY-VISIBLE... Girls always ignore the region below the face and even guys do. But a simple observation will tell you about her tampered beauty and may even save you the money for an extra movie ticket. Plus, if you once see a truly natural beauty, you won't even need these hints. Uski baat hi kuch aur hoti hai!

Also,there are some other basic facts. Maybe most of us know it. for example: If a girl has applied mascara over her eyes, it's a clear indication of heavy makeup. Obviously, mascara can't be applied over bare skin. Skin needs to be furnished properly to apply mascara. And the eyelashes... Rarely do people have flowing eyelashes (maintaining them is a near impossible task). So, 99% of the times, the long eyelashes are fake and the rest is obvious- Girls never apply partial makeup. It follows the "All or None" law. Also we can always notice the lipstick & all... Lips are never red. They are light red and they don't sparkle as they do with a lip-gloss. (GIRLS... In fact, an extremely shiny lipgloss makes you look ugly and fake!)

(more in next part about botox, hair extensions,silicone implants,contact lenses,etc.... stay tuned)

HOT TIP: To notice a girl, always look at the edge of her sleeves. Girls are most careless about her sleeve because one does not get to view it in the mirror. Check if her sleeve is dirty/folded/neat/loose/torn/etc. Hence, a closer look at these areas reveals a lot of truth about the girl than other areas do. On the other hand, look at the feet and edge of trousers of guys to notice the same thing. They are most careless about these areas. :P :P :P :P :P 

Note: The above article can be considered as a total crap and in no way shall be taken as a measure of the author's brilliance/stupidity.. Reader's discretion is totally advised. However, the facts presented above have been written after a well and thorough observational research and are true in more than 90% of the cases. Enjoy! (all the puns are real and intentional.)

10 comments:

Tanvi said...

God hilarious! Absolute stupidity and reality too... Nice research Mr.Dhawal... So in IIT people do research about these things, hmmm... interesting.. :P

sreeram said...

Make up was meant to hide irregularities on the face but it is being used to hide face itself lol

dhawal said...

@tanvi: well...why else do you think we get less marks...?? :P :P :P
We do everything except studies and every nonsense is taken up with open arms.
@sreeram: very true.. why the hell dont people realize it??

Deepika Vasudeva said...

since u have not been writing anything... so taking the risk is age discretion yet i gathered myself to read this one.... lol.

Itni depth mein agar subjects padhe hote to u could have gained 9 pointers or above... hehehe

btw i kinda disagree at some points... not all girls are THIS mad about make-up. not everyone is same... but yeah,... many are like this, even i agree.

gr8 research :P

dhawal said...

Now, if studies were even half as interesting as girls, then surely i'd have been a 10-pointer indeed. But course books are heavy and complex, not simple and beautiful.... lol
& ur disagreement is fully justified and even i have written that this article is an ultimate piece of crap meant only to extract fun (and a little info!) :P :P

Sandip Kadam said...

OHhhhh,,,,,, secret of the universe revealed........!!!

Jay Kay said...

Date girls

Puja Sharma said...

I appreciate from this post and its seems looking so informative ad networks for good target for Indian's. Thanks for sharing with us..

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